WIsh with a hole!

Its been a season of birthdays lately. Lots of people I know have grown a year older.

I’m this whiz at remembering birthdays. I rarely forget them, especially if the person matters to me. I dutifully call them as soon as I get up and wish them; sing a happy birthday sometimes. And If it’s a “mattering” person I buy them a gift. That’s quite a process, you know. My mom keeps saying the gift should be what the person likes, it doesn’t matter if you like it or not. I disagree. Strongly. I always look out for gifts that:
The person would like
I like
Fits my budget
Is not repetitive
Most often are unique.
Imagine giving your friend something you don’t like. Everytime I’d see it and go “Ewww”. And then realise that I’ve given that to her/him myself. And I generally make it a point to give something handmade too.

I’ve been thinking about this whole thing. I call up someone, wish them, get a “thank you” and have a put-on conversation about what the person is going to do, what he/she got as gifts…etc, etc… It all feels hollow.
Because, honestly…when I say “Happy Birthday”, I wonder if I really mean it. Do I really hope with my heart that the person has a happy day? Most often, its frustrating to find, I don’t.
It’s just a hollow utterance of words.

Sometimes, just sometimes, I do really mean it. And then I feel good. And selfless.

I’m working on it. Honestly. So next time its your birthday, and I wish you..be rested and assured, I’m saying it with all my heart!!