Who said there is a BFF?

People say that friends are family you choose. People also say that there is always one person in a family who always gives, and the others are so used to this, that they never learn to do so.

Maybe I’m too sensitive. Maybe I over react to situations.

I’ve always wanted this particular best friend. I have this image I’ve created of him/her in my mind with vivid details, right from the person’s dress sense to his/ her voice. I sometimes even try to imagine how that person would react to certain situations.
Maybe I shouldn’t be doing this. Lots of people say that there is no ideal best friend.
I don’t believe that.
So whom am I kidding when I call someone who doesn’t fit into my mould my best friend? Worse still, I’ve put three people into that category. Three people who probably have a zero-point-five percent of the qualities, each.
No doubt, they’re great people. They’ve been there for me almost whenever I needed them. But I never got what I expected.
Then again, I shouldn’t expect anything out of friendship.
Honestly, is that possible? Can you carry on a relationship(s) without expectations?
I’ve always been the kind of friend I wanted to them three. I’ve always tried to understand them, make them my family, but it was never reciprocated.
Each time this happened, I only felt more and more miserable.
Perhaps this was because it was a quadrilateral relationship(!). Maybe I felt threatened and insecure by the others. I was always closer to one of them, I still am;- but she is the kind who does the right thing. She balances her relations with all equally. It is no wonder that I feel emotionally drained then. I’m getting much much lesser than I give.

I’ve learned to stop fantasising now. I just accept the friends I have. My ideal best friend is wiped off my mind.
My mind feels clean now. And I, much stronger. To bounce back and be the life in my group of friends. To be the butt of jokes and be the clown. And to be easily bugged, but the one you can surely count on.